When The Time Comes...

my fave songs recently...

2005-11-03T13:58:00.000+08:00

oh my fave jay's album is not bad, nov chopin. though his style is still so strong, but i still love it to bits.
also stef sun's album, only like 第一天so far. dont like 完美的一天, stupid lyrics.
but so far my fave songs that i really love is chen qi zhen 旅行的意義 and matilda tao 走路去紐約. guess from the titles u should know why i love it so much. never really knew there's so much meaning to travelling and it would be nice to actually 'walk to ny'. just think of all the sights you'll see and the ppl you'll meet. isnt that fantastic? im on a vacation-withdrawal-syndrome. my last trip was in april!!! silly me to take 2 trips in 3 mths. would not do that ever again. guess my next trip will be to hk. dont feel like gg with parents. frens? forget it! i need to find more adventurous frens, really! ok will go alone, maybe i'll be happier.

its november~

2005-11-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

OMG its nov already?! and haha, ive only got one post in oct, but well, thats what happens when u lead a boring life. who updates the blog with monotonous daily life?

ok today was a blue-moon event for me. as usual i spent my public hols in the office since it falls on the beginning of the wk. anyway we (ie my kakis at work) left the office for lunch at ~12.30pm, and guess what time we came back? a record of 2.30pm! nice 2 hrs lunch, inclusive of an appetitzer of muah chee from hougang (supposedly v famous though i havent heard abt it), jack's place set lunch and getting lost in sengkang on the way back. how fun rite? we had wanted to go to hougang mall to take a look, well think we still have a tiny sense of responsibility left inside us. ok hopefully boss dont go ard reading blogs but just that things have quieten down at year end and there's nothing really that much to do. and its deepavali today! yar yar, im chinese but do we need an excuse to promote inter-racial cohesiveness? whats better than celebrating their hols with them? hee~

thats not the end of my long-awaited non-monotonous life. we had agreed to go for dinner after work today, since my kaki gf is going to her fren's wedding dinner. oh, fyi thats only when we all get to go out, when his gf is busy! anyway back on track, i think i did make him feel guilty abt really going out for dinner since he forgot to tell his mom abt our dinner. hee, i said my parents din prepare my dinner. thats not exactly true but... anyway we went for crab beehoon. its DELICIOUS! not the first time there but if you havent tried it, PLEASE go!

a new era...

2005-10-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

hmm a new era of wat u may ask, of the IT age of course! and no, it doesnt apply to anyone else other than me. I BOUGHT A NEW PHONE! and no, its not a nokia, though i did confess i am (now 'was') a nokia fan. wanna guess which beauty i bought? ok, its a sony ericsson Z520i. im too lazy to try to post a pic of it out here, so just check it out at the webbie if you are curious yar? i traded in my n3230 for this z520i, and i just have to fork out a tiny amt of $60 for this cutie~ good buy yar? hopefully it wont disappoint me. that stupid n3230 really gets on my nerves you know. for 5 mths i had to send it to the repair center 3 times. thank god i still warranty of tat THING! so better sell it fast while there's still value for it. hee, im pretty much in love with this cutie now! cheers everyone!

is this me?

2005-09-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

星座的稱霸的領域

★水瓶座
最懶／最女性化／最不講義氣／最會突發奇想／災難中最冷靜／最貪睡／
最難理解／最我行我素／最喜歡大自然／最重視精神層面／最理性／
最會聊天／最不重視紀律／最可能當黑馬／最需要自我空間／最愛幻想／
最會拖時間／最沒有同情心／最無性別概念／最可能有收集癖／最致力學
課本外的東西
※水瓶座Ｂ型的人－最喜歡獨處／最敢與眾不同
※水瓶座Ｏ型的人－最讓人覺得是怪人
※水瓶座ＡＢ型的人－品味最古怪／最看不起錢 <----- mine!

水瓶座：信奉老二哲學，不想當老大。通常當人家要推舉水瓶座的人當頭時，她都會推卻，因為水瓶座的人很清楚，當老二的人永遠是老二，可是老大可不一定永遠是老大。水瓶座的人平常看起來很搞怪，可是出風頭的永遠不是他，因為水瓶座的人很低調。

水瓶座：認真思考時，會拉拉自己的耳垂 <----- TRUE!!!

the end of suffering... almost!

2005-09-09T15:08:00.000+08:00

YEAH today went to take out the stitches, guess that would mean my wounds are healing and i'll be able to eat like a normal person. hmm, guess been depending too much on my left jaw to eat that it felt so weird using both sides now. hee, been to NDC for 3 times and i was being attending by 3 different oral surgeons/dentists or watever they are called.

dr seah tien ee - consultation + xray
dr tan boon pei danny - surgery
dr lim siew hooi - removal of stitches

actually i did held the hope of seeing dr seah again, but nopez!

the day after the op

2005-09-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

haha, thinking back it was really embarrassing yesterday. mommy said i'll be DEFINITELY under sedation during the op, but guess wat? IM NOT! if i wanted the op to be under sedation, it'll have to be a monday. and the next available appt is mid sept. thats a bit long, since i'll already settled who is covering my shift at work. haha, tears were like flowing like water through a dam. non-stop! thank goodness i was there alone and no one saw how terrible i looked. thinking abt all the pros and cons, decided to go through the op with full consciousness. well, i've not stop tearing then. the oral surgeon (not a dentist i was told) was pretty nice, explained things in detailed and tried to calm me down. he too explained wat he was doing so i wont be so scared. too bad he's not as cute! i was also holding onto the nurse's hand throughout the op. really think i've hurt her. my fists were clenched damn tight so as to calm myself. cant count how many times they've told me to relax. well i guess my op is as simple as it can get, since my teeth is straight and dont have to disect the lower tooth into smaller segments.

i went home with swollen right cheek and eyes! the right side of my face (from cheeks to lips) felt weird as it was numb from the anesthesia. the numbness wear off at night. now my right jaw is still swollen and painful. dont think the pain will recover by tmr. going back on fri morning to remove the stitches. haha, hopefully the doctor will forget the embarrassing situation. anyway the doctor's skill is damn good (no one to compare to but its good lar!) and the staff there is very patient and friendly. thanks dr tan ben poon danny!!!

wisdom teeth

2005-08-31T16:34:00.000+08:00

wisdom teeth arent that clever to be growing in such a limited space. or is it talking abt the person instead? my lower right wisdom tooth has been hurting since last week and my gum swollen. though the worst is over, i still went to see the dentist at ndc today. yupz, he confirmed that i have an impacted wisdom tooth after an xray was taken and suggested surgery to have them (upper & lower) removed. THAT SHOCKED ME! though i did know, but hearing them from the dentist is another thing, is REALITY! GOD, tears were like forming and i had to suppress them. and i'll be under local anethesia for removing 2 but under general anethesia for removing 4. i did comtemplate abt removing all 4 for 2 reasons. firstly i wont be put under the trauma of being conscious throughout the entire surgery, and sencondly i will reduce my chance of undergoing such trauma again in future if my left wisdom teeth decided to cause havoc. but in the end, decided on local anethesia. im still very jittery now, and dunno if i'll calm down bef the surgery which is on fri 2pm.

the good thing is, i'll be getting 5 days mc! well tat seems to be the only positive thing abt the whole wisdom teeth experience. other than that, nah! was con of one day's leave today as the polyclinic staff said that i can get a day's mc today for consultation. NO WAY! the dentist can only give me the time-sheet but its pretty useless. more than half a day is gone and really no pt of gg back to work. sigh, cant believe 1 day of hard earned leave is gone like tat. BOO HOO HOO~

oh yar one more thing i really gotta mention here... the dentist is pretty cute!!! haha, dr seah tian ee... if u gotta chance to go ndc, go bio him bah~

still born

2005-08-13T13:30:00.000+08:00

wat a shock when i woke up this morning! its not suppose to happen, im suppose to have 5 MALE hamsters... why is there a mulan in there?! well, mulan gave birth this morning, and i DUNNO she's pregnant!!! but sad to say, all 4 babies were still born. all of them are fully formed but yet unable to come into this world alive. they looked so vulnerable and fragile~ hopefully mulan will not go into post-pregnancy depression. but seeing her jumping non-stop just now, dunno if she knows all her babies are still born.

im in loss now. like suddenly something's been taken away from me yet i have no idea what it is.

its disturbing =(

2005-07-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

its really disturbing how a modern society in singapore lack in grace and kindness. what has education done to our society to bred such perverts who gain excitement from hurting others? my mood simply plunge down when i read in papers today abt a helpless kitten whose tail was cruelly cut off. The gapping wound and tailbone was left expose. im so glad there are still people who care so much abt animals, for the kitten was sent to a vet. now im wondering if the kitten survive the ordeal or died of infection. ok, no one know who did this cruel act, and with what aim the person was trying to achieve. but another cruel act was witnessed by passerby and im so glad they actually did voice out to help the small 2-mth old kitten. this little helpless kitten was being viciously tortured by 2 young boys, aged 8 and 10. the kitten was found to be bleeding from its eyes, ears and nose and almost thrown into the bin. if such cruel act can be executed by boys of such tender age, i cant imagine what kind of things they'll do when they grow up. hope some adults will knock some sense into the boys and severly punish them so they know the consequences of such acts. im so sure the kitten would not have harmed the 2 boys and their act of cruelty was out of mischieve.

also to note, many people keep pets out of boredom. they do not realise the responsibility that comes with the pets. when they are bored they'll simply leave the pets in the wild. no domestic pets have the ability to survive in the wild. how would they know where to get food and water if they've been fed at home? and not to mention they'll be susceptible to other diseases and most likely die of hunger. not too long ago, i too read an article about a rabbit being released into bt batok nature reserve. when the rabbit was found, it had gapping wounds infected with worms, injury in one eye and suffering terribly from malnutrition. sad to say, the rabbit died after a few days it was rescued.

please! for those who are reading this, do not ever do these acts to the harmless animals. please show some compassion for other living things. im sure u'll not like it if other people start to beat u for nothing or chop ur finger off just for the fun of it. i will not condone such an act if i ever see one, and hopefully i wont. and hopefully singapore will become a more gracious society in the near future, though i personally dont hold much hope on this one.

2005-06-30T19:57:00.000+08:00

i guess ppl has probably guessed that the longer i din blog, the more boring my life has been. well, who would be blogging abt everyday's business? nothing much has happened in life, usual work and slack. though it seems like a rumor has started in the office that im dating this buddy of mine coz we hang ard too much. sometimes i cant even be bothered to explain. i mean, HEY there's such a thing as platonic frenship. and we hardly see each other out of working environment. and not to mention we are really on talking terms and click pretty well. and his frens should all know he is happily attached and kinda thinking of marriage. haha, he actually looks quite a bit like "ocean au - the singer".

yest went to a gathering with my fellow colleagues. its actually a farewell dinner to my TWI vendors who will not be supporting the fab as of tmr. no idea who will be doing all the analysis and fixing the tools. anyway the gathering was suppose to be at turf city, but somehow landed up in toa payoh for sizzler. i was already in turf city when i was notified of the change. sigh, at least the trip there was not wasted as my ex-boss shirley was there already and pick her up instead. thank god, for without her i wont know how to get my butt to toa payoh and most prob head home. the gathering was fun, all the chats and jokes. the hardware vendor ANG is heading for his 3-mth long vacation in china. he's a backpacker who LOVES china. cant rem how many times he went to china already. but the places he went are so exotic, like yunnan, sze chuan etc. and the scenery are superb. but guess such places are not meant for me. did i mention the software vendor HAN is my boss hubby? haha so i guess i'll still be seeing him ard. also heard one my of AME got promoted, congrats! wonder when is my turn yar? haha! the day ended when i drop some colleagues off at AMK MRT and head home. guess, the next gathering wont be so soon...

hmm...

2005-05-21T12:58:00.000+08:00

have been wanting to ask this "why are most cute guys in the same dept?". its really quite weird really, those that i find relatively good-looking guys are in the same dept. of course which im not going to mention which dept though, and definitely not mine. maybe its just me? haha, cant be manz! maybe their boss will hire guys of certain looks, looks tat just happen to appeal to me. oh, like implantation guys are all tall and thin. its too hard not to notice their resemblance. though of course there are some exceptions not worth mentioning. oh dont be mistaken that stm has cute guys all ard. for my std, its just less than a handful.

sidenote - oh thank you fren, i really wasnt expecting your gift from the US.

wakeboarding

2005-05-05T20:45:00.000+08:00

always tot wakeboarding/water skiing is fun, but never got to learning it. also no frens seem as interested as me. well, today supposedly gg to wakeboard for the very first time in my life. really do have mixed feelings about it, since i'll sort of be in open water where my feet cant touch the ground. you'll never know what is underneath the water, be it piranas, snakes, jellyfishes, crocs etc. crazy i know, blame it all on the hollywood movies! the weather was cloudy today, not very appropriate for wakeboard. 4 of us altgt, 2 colleagues and another is colleague's fren. haha, my fren was shocked to hear tat i agreed to today's outing. so he came along. haha, so it turns out im not the only one afraid of open water. i din wanna be the first one to go into the water. for some unknown reason, demo was not included in the learning package and beginners ALWAYS get to go first. as if i can imagine all the watever action the instructor was talking abt. nevermind... my fren went first. GOSH its hard, the skill of wakeboarding. tough! i could see tiredness in my fren's face after dunno many tries. anyway even before i had a chance to get in the water, im already soaked to my skin. it was raining, pretty heavily i would say. and water hitting my face... PAIN! in the midst of my fren in water, i could hear and see thunder and lightning. VERY SCARY! i mean, who knows there the lightning will strike? we are in open space tats for sure. very bad day for any watersports. well, we head back to shore about 45mins later. din have my watch so dont really know the exact time. HAHA SO I DIN TRY WAKEBOARDING AFTERALL. was anyone expecting me relating my first experience here? sorry to disappoint. something's for sure, i was really quite scared of the lightning. i could see my life flashing past. then again, i always have an active imagination, too active i should say.

oh the water was dirty as in cant see the bottom. but not so bad as to see rubbish floating by. and water was definitely nice and warm... just the right temp. i was quite cold up in the boat, soaked. i would consider trying to wakeboard again, though i could hardly see myself doing a good job at that. =)

sidenote - i saw my life flash by during last night shift, as there was a false fire alarm. i had no idea wat caused the alarm and was practically rushing out of the building. sort of follow photo engrs blinding out of the building... haha. there was definitely a gas leak at etch but dont think tat caused the alarm.

major changes

2005-05-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

there's gonna be relatively major changes when i go to work next week. firstly my pal wont be around anymore. last night was her last night shift, and she's left for greener pastures. though i know its all good for her yet i still cant help to feel sad to see her go. now there's one less person for me to chat to, to play with, to joke with. it was really fun having her around, for she's quite living in her own world. some of her so-called logic really dont make sense to me, but thats what makes her unique. she's adventurous too, loves trekking. and can tell she's working bcoz she has to work in order to survive, just for basic survival. i know if she has a choice, she would trek around the world and that will make her the happiest person alive. i will definitely miss her and hope we wont drift apart and lose contact. she's really a fren worth having. im easily attached to ppl i like... maybe i should learn to let go.

a new guy will be coming to my fren's shift think next wk or the one after. he was from G1 and coming into G2 implant. hmm, dunno if can get along with him as well as my fren or not. well, we'll have to see about it. and also dunno who is the new person taking over my fren's shift. its sad as it looks like only my shift is so not close to each other, everyone hangs around their own cliche and its hard for others to join in. for little chats here n there is fine, but as for going beyond acquantaince... hard.

recently been feeling low as so many of my colleagues quit or changed shift due to the lack of manpower. suddenly, working is not as fun anymore. everyone's damn busy with their own work to stop and chat. somehow im sick of my work. its simply not gonna bring me anywhere in life.

in process of re-thinking about my life...

quality vs quantity

2005-05-04T21:47:00.000+08:00

really, such things are just so hard to have a balance, both in terms of work and life. and somehow quality is always compromised in order to obtain quantity. but is it wrong to go for quality rather than quantity? how come it never occur to those who wants quantity that sometimes without quality, all the efforts people put in previously might have gone wasted? whats wrong with such people? and it is really becoz such people exist in the co that we arent making money, that we are scrapping wafers without knowing the actual reason behind it. that everything is compromised though we are producing lots of wafers with low yield. does the higher management knows about such unscrupulous behavior/actions being performed in the fab? or maybe this is how it works in other fabs too... maybe thats the way working life is. not everything goes the way you want and its tough fighting the battle on your own. you'll never win even though you know you are right. and those who are wrong will always come up with such unbelievable excuses so that you'll do what they want and soak up all the shit in future if anything really goes wrong.

quality vs quantity is like dreams vs reality... sometimes reality is much more achievable than dreams and thus a compromise is always present. but life is short so why is it wrong to follow your heart and dreams rather than follow blindly through the norm of human life? why cant people leave all their burden behind and do what their heart really wants? why do i feel so hindered in my quest for the life that i want?

maybe dreams will always stay as dreams, for only dreams are perfect.

Brisbane + Gold Coast 2005

2005-04-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

gosh after i typed so much i hanged my comp. so here i go again...

back in brisbane after 2 years, not much changes i see. still the nice weather, nice people, nice food and of course nice shopping. the aussie currency is definitely much stronger than before. so i had to really keep an eye on my wallet there. besides shopping, we also went to 2 themeparks & a day tour. this time round, daddy came along too.

seaworld was nice, all the cute cute dolphins, seals, penguines etc. and i get to see my fave SHARKS! haha. the weather was sunny though, and can see mommy trying to get in the shade wherever possible. and i did turn terribly lobster-red then. im still suffering from extreme tan-marks on my arms & neck. hmm, but i really love the sun there. it really brightens one's mood, unlike the sun in spore. spoiler! haha would love to go sun-tanning there in future. who cares abt whitening anymore?! haha!!

movieworld was... acceptable. so if u have yet to go to US universal studios, u better go to movieworld first if u dont wanna be disappointed. the rides there were pretty interesting nonetheless. the 'batman' stimulation ride had 2 young girls crying out loud for it was really realistic. the scooby-doo rollercoaster was a huge disguise. it seems to be catering for young kids, but who knows, its damn scary!!! its mostly in the dark. there's a part where the carriage actually reverse!!! OMG, couldnt see where it's going (though most part i couldt see either). and after reversing, it just plunges down! tats it manz, i almost went crazy! haha. and after that there are a few VERY VERY sharp turns. i could really see myself being flung out of the carriage IF anything happens and fall to my death. the carriage was going really fast. but well, managed to get of the ride alive. somehow i felt old then that my heart could hardly take the excitement. anyway that ride really got my adrenalin pumping. another rollercoaster on the site is called 'lethal weapon'. its also in a damn big disguise! looks magnificant with all the twists and stuff, and its a rollercoaster where u are dangled. haha, but this is really not scary at all, not as it looks anyway. i was comtemplating if i should even try. but i really loved it after that. i even took 2 consecutives tgt. haha. too bad daddy couldnt take most of the rides so left only mommy and me.

the day tour was to moreton island. haha stupid us. should have gone for the tour when we were in brisbane and it would have saved us 2-3hrs car ride to the port. anyway, the yacht trip where was very rough. the people sitting at the front got all wet, and those at the back end too! sea water was really splashing all over and a mini flood occurred in the cabin too. a dutch from netherlands and me started chatting. actually he started the conversation. he has his own business in netherlands, and going to start his own product or something like that. he's in redcliff (tats the name of the area) to attend a fren's wedding. blah blah blah... talked abt 45mins, ie the entire trip to the island. cant really remember exactly wat we chatted, mostly anything that comes to mind really. he's a redhead. oh the island is really damn pretty!!! nice sand and extremely clear waters, clearer than at goldcoast. u can scuba-dive near the shipwracks there (part of the itinerary). i didnt, coz din prepare for it. but it was nice just walking on the sandy beaches and in the clear waters. went a little too deep and my jeans were soaked to knee-level. see, i was damn so not appropriately dress. i did some fishing, my first fishing experience and it was really a not bad experience. daddy managed to get 3 small fishes and i din. i felt as if i was feeding the fishes, not fishing them. and who knows later i got the biggest catch of the day!!! haha everyone was taking photo of the approximately 30cm fish. but i dont think i would do fishing as a hobby, coz i still feel is a cruel thing to do to a fish. though they arent suppose to feel anything ard their lips.

another activity planned before my trip back to sunny island was hotair ballooning. too bad it rained the day before and it was cancelled. ALAMAKZ. 2nd time it was cancelled. is it a sign? the first time we wanted to try was in NZ, and it too was cancelled the day bef. why why why? should i try to go for a 3rd time? i'll have to think properly abt tat...

anyway this trip to australia was fun. not exactly memorable but still damn relaxing. i really feel like i could be a beach bum there... how nice. will go back there again in future... DEFINITELY!

im guilty...

2005-04-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

yes i know. ive been slacking. i havent been updating this blog for a long long long time. i will do so once i finish my this wk's work. trust me on tat. so tats all for now, folks!

SO WAT?!

2005-03-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

so wat im the shift engr? do i have to do everything when all of you are so free? do i have to oversee everything when you are already in the fab? do i have to go down to the fab last min? please! im also human can! yes i know all of you are nice ppl, but can you all not push things to me? sometimes im busy enough on my own down in the fab and all of you are upstairs. some engg requests can be done by you rite? since u need the data! and not like i ever asked you all to help with the line issues.

why im so pissed today? just came back from training of TPS (8D) ard 6pm. found from shirley tat we've just a TXRF request from etch. ok fine, was going to do the request as i thought no one was downstairs. then, found tat my colleague was down and she called me to ask if my operator knows how to operate the tool. yes, ive taught my operator bef and she's just standing beside my operator at the tool. AND SHE ACTUALLY ASK ME TO GO DOWN!!! wat logic?! you are there so just carry out the request lar. i go down for wat??? well, thought she had other issues that may need my help so i went down. and i was back in the office 10mins later. just entered fab, stood ard to look at my operator performing the request with my colleague. SO GOON!!! why did she have to insist i go down for? BO LIAO MANZ!!!

back at the office, got another request to measure step-height. and from the tone, looks like she wants me to carry it out then! din she have a watch or smthing? its 6.35pm already. if i actually go down then, i can imagine wat time i'll be going home. so i dilly dally... and finally she came to me and said "oh, i forgot you have to go home, then passdown lor". yes dear, shift engr actually DO go home you know?

really manz, you all are a nice bunch of ppl, but you too have to put yourselves in the shoes of the shift engr. im the shift engr but SO WAT?!

longest lunch

2005-03-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

hahaz finally openly drove to work today. not that i secretly drove, but i dont go ard telling everyone rite? anyway, drove the photo engrs out to lunch, its a must! after they saw me driving one day, they just wont stop ending every conversation we had with 'so when are u driving again? must drive us out for lunch leh'.

so finally manage to get the car today, and as expected a phone call came at 1130hr. hehee so we arrange to go out at 1300hr. deeli daeli here n there, left the office at 1315hr. decided to go the compass pt. and GOSH the foodcourt is damn crowded!!! maybe its sunday, maybe its the last day of sch hols... but anyway we really couldnt find a seat so we went to 三盅兩件instead for lunch. food is nice but not fabulous. wont really recommend but can try once in your lifetime.

they had to dapao back smthing for their poor colleague whom din join us. dunno whether bccoz we are on further terms than the rest, or they really cant leave no one in the co. so she wanted delifrance and we had to queue AN HR for it manz. 1HR!!! isnt delifrance considered fast food? to me, its slow food manz. my fren face wait n wait till black... haha... saw 2 uni frens too.

finally i got back to the office at 1530hr. haha my boss better not read this, but this might jolly well be the last time im eating with photo engrs. not close to them so the entire meal was quite stressful for me. they so 亂講話 and have a unique sense of humor. haha, see! im anti-social!

feb is gone?

2005-03-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

gosh realised ive not blogged for the entire feb. hmm, my fave month is gone... BOO HOO HOO. quite a few things happened in feb and i shall slowly type it in today.

tw trip
*******
as i always say, tw news is just simply too entertaining to ignore. and you can be just so amazed at the things happening there.

1. media reprimanding the artistes who wear fur as video clips of how cruelly the animals were treated were exposed. haha, im sure if u wear fur u'll know where it comes from rite?
2. dead pig's meat were being illegally sold to the market. haha, and in tw, everywhere u look there's pork
3. a torso was found in a luggage at a rubbish cute by some garung-guni. the police still have no idea where the head and limps were and the poor lady is still un-identified. hmm, guess i'll snap if i come across such things. really manz, how does one look w/o head and limps?
4. one uni undergraduate was kidnapped in campus by 4 guys and a ransom of NT$5m was required. but bef the family had time to get the money ready, the gal was killed by overdose of drugs. and can u believe it, one of the kidnappers is her cousin! is money really tat important when compared to family ties? i think i too have to keep an eye open for my cousins! haha
5. of course, wat else... jay and tat newscaster romance! hmm, i havent really seen her properly though i've heard quite a bit about how sweet she is. quite shocking as i always tot jay and jolin were an item.

bbq
===
haha our long-awaited bbq has finally materialized. was quite irritated by some irresponsible fren but things turned out way better than i've expected. cool weather, good food, good frens, good fire and no burnt chicken wings! any time soon happening again?

comp
====
when i came back from my hols, my harddisk suddenly crashed! is my comp missing me too much for the last couple of days? quite worried tat all my stuff will be gone, esp my photos. i dont back them up. trust me, i will after this incident. anyway sent my comp to the guy who fixed up my comp for me. haha, he's pretty good. got all my data back and now my comp works like new! and he gave me a new verson of norton and some defrag program tats supposedly better.

PHEW! finally managed to briefly update on things tat happened in feb. im so sure i missed out some parts but well, tats all for now.

fear factor...

2005-01-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

i can recommend fear factor a place where its ideal for its contestants. *drumroll* MALAN noodle house!!! OMG, the food is definitely the grossest stuff i've ever eaten in my life. EEKKSSS~ ok, be fair, not everything is gross, but everything is not fantastic. and its a wonder why there's a long queue outside waiting... HMM. i din order anything exotic mind you, just cold noodles with beef (dry). ok, doesnt tat looks, sounds, and should definitely taste simple? NO WAY~ the cheena ppl definitely have their way with such ordinary food. usually dry noodles will come in a sauce of some sort. some will have chilli, or plain with soy sauce or even ketchup, or their very own speciality. com'on guess wat my noodles came in... GUESS! ok, dont think any of u will manage to get the correct ans coz the end result is SO gross! *drumroll again* PEANUT BUTTER~~!!!! just imagine, noodles with peanut butter sauce. ok, im really not a fan of peanut butter, but even if i am, i also wont eat it with noodles. peanut butter shall go with bread/crackers and bread/crackers alone! sigh, i wont step into this restaurant as long as i live. so if u are reading this and love peanut butter, go try the cold noodles with beef (dry).

sidenote - think im gonna be homeless in tw... all hotels are fully booked!

totally depressed

2005-01-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

this is the first time im so depressed over something not related to my family. i almost cracked, ALMOST. ive never felt that kinda pressure on me before. maybe im really not suited for work, for i can hardly endure the kind of pressure that comes from the silly mistakes i make at work. got a call from alan, and we chatted for slightly over an hr. most of the conversation is abt the mistake i made at work this wk, and he's just showing concern over my recent few mistakes. no one pointed the mistake out straight in my face. is that the kind of allowances im given coz im new? or just tat its not so serious tat make boss SCREAM & YELL? i dont know, dont care, and really cant be bothered to find out. its a mistake made, and i somehow have to face the consequences that come with it. apparently this is not the first time ive made such a mistake, for there was one instance that shirley briefly mentioned that i made a mistake but din elaborate on it. WHY? maybe if she did this mistake could have been avoided for i will take extra care to prevent it from happening again. but no, things were just left hanging there, allowing another such instance to happen. my colleagues must be guessing something's bothering me these days, thats wat making me lose my concentration at work. well, i could say they are about right, for im not finding satisfaction from my work and am beginning to scout for jobs. this dept im in does NOT exist in other related companies, so where can i go if i leave STM? ill have to start from scratch, learning stuff like new grads while wasting a couple of mths away at STM. and im so blardy busy these days that i dont even have a sec to catch my breathe, clear my mind to solve the problems tat come to me in bulk. i've been standing for couple of hrs non-stop, while able to get a seat only during meal time. also the stress from rotating shifts is getting to me. ive been thinking maybe im young so can take all the stress from night shifts, but no, its making me REAL tired now. one other issue has also been occupying my mind, though ill rather not mention it here. all these issues really caused me to snap tonight. ive cried non-stop for an hr or so. tears just wont stop flowing down my cheeks. though i talked to 2 frens, but somehow tears managed to flow more whenever i think abt it. now ive calmed down but the problem still exist. im more determined to get a new job, for i wont want to wait till im sacked from my job. also the tot of this colleague of mine din pass probation and was asked to leave today.

sidenote - its just ME rite?!

ktv session

2005-01-08T02:37:00.000+08:00

today (or should i say yest) went to ktv with colleagues wor. well, not all turn up. only shirley, yuanfang, eelane, qiuyan and he jiawei. ok, he jiawei is not actually from my dept but he gets on well with shirley. i didnt really sing coz they all sing SO WELL manz. totally unlike my past ktv sessions!

its been a long time since i went ktv, so really enjoy seeing all the new MVs which i have yet seen. OH gotta mention... he jiawei intro this 'new' song to us. its called "用馬來西亞的天氣說愛你"... weird huh? the song is sung by the malaysian 滾石 artistes during their 10th anniversary of some sort. apparently this is an old song dated back abt 1997.

then shirley came late, after her yoga class. and OMG, her pitch damn high lor. haha, but not bad too lor her voice. she managed to sing 林憶蓮 and 張惠妹 song w/o gg out of tune. haha and i think tats pretty amazing.

this is my first outing with them... and hopefully i can really get to know them better out of workplace. i still dont feel close to them, still a very thin invisible barrier between us. but things are improving bit by bit. =)

i really misses my past ktv sessions with my kakis. all of us are busy with our stuff but hopefully we can meet up soon. *hint* are my ktv kakis reading this?

HAPPIE 2005~~~

2005-01-08T02:25:00.000+08:00

yes... im over a week late in wishing everyone a HAPPIE 2005... but well, its better late than never. its been to a pretty good start for me, mostly becoz nothing major has happened.

lets start with the usual new year resolution 05:
1. lose fats
2. travel more often
3. looks dont matter, personality does
4. get a job tats more fulfilling

ok, i dont think the list should go on... if i can actually achieve the 4 im happy enough and 2005 is a good year.

last of 2004

2004-12-31T21:16:00.000+08:00

finally the end of 2004. tonnes of things happened, both of joy and sadness. some are worth remembering forever, others i'll rather forget.

1. 3 feb - 22nd birthday
2. 24 apr - last day of exams
3. 16 may - SECRET! and most prob isnt wats going on in your mind!
4. 07 jul - commencement aka graduation ceremony
5. 08 jul - first time in sydney
6. 14 jul - first day at work in STM
7. 10 oct - started shift work
8. 14 oct - a confirmed STM staff
9. 11/12 dec - death of 2 hammies
10. 20 dec - my first 13th mth pay

other stuff happened around me (not in chronological order)
1. athens olympics
2. bird flu in asia
3. collapse of nicoll highway
4. bush jr won elections
5. lee hsien long became singapore pm
6. americans caught torturing iraq prisoners
7. end of sphmediaworks
8. tsunami disaster in asia

if i missed out any other significant events, please let me know yar?

CHEERS for 2004~!!!!
and ALL THE BEST for 2005~!!!!

rest in peace my darling2

2004-12-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

gone, another one gone! time of death approximately sunday night. came home on monday morning and found him dead. was actually thinking he's sleeping soundly, but daddy commented that he's been sleeping for a LONG time. hamsters dont sleep at a particular place for a long time. they are light sleepers, and tend to move around frequently. after looking carefully, realised there's no rhythmic breathing. *BOO HOO HOO* its only about 2 days apart and he has gone to join her. i've buried him at the grass patch behind my house. for once im crying for the both of them. was feeling very depressed lately, and anything could just irritate me.

now ive left with just one hammie... who keeps biting me!!! maybe their deaths have no impact on him since ive separated them long time ago. so now, his home has just been upgraded to a bungalow! haha, since ive removed the partition after their deaths and his home space doubled!

well, life still has to go one, with hammies or not.

rest in peace my darling

2004-12-12T01:02:00.000+08:00

my female hamster died, time of death between 2.30am-11.30am 11 Dec 04. it came as an extreme shock when i woke up and found her dead, cold n hard. WHY? there was not a single sign that she's sick or watever. and i obviously din think she'll be the first one to go. so wat's her cause of death? heart attack? stroke? internal bleeding? i have NO IDEA. all i know is that she did not die in her sleep. the way her corpse lay looks like she just BOOM on the floor and die instantly. WHY? she's my fave of the three, for she likes me very much and loves to climb onto my palm. she is so active and inquisitive, and loves exploring without knowing the dangers ahead (though i will definitely keep a look out!).

no idea if the other male hamster knows watever happened to her. saw him trying to wake her up, though obviously she's hard and cold. a sad sight, and now he is alone. no more playmate. i will miss her dearly. i din cry, coz maybe of the shock. im still in abit of shock, for now i will check their box not because to see if they are sleeping/playing, but whether they are alive. thank goodness daddy was ard to take care of the corpse this morning.

maybe she's old already... but in terms of looks, the other male looked older, way older (he's getting flabby and wrinkly). im glad i took good care of her when she's alive, and hopefully she's happier now. and i hope her playmate is taking it well. i dont think i can take another shock tmr morning.

RIP my darling... RIP...

my life so far...

2004-11-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

wow, its been abt half a month since i updated this manz. time flies... *SWOOSH*. guess it does esp when u go on shifts yar? i actually thot i would have more time to myself when i go on shifts, but apparently not. haha, so where did all my spare time go? quick, make a guess... c'mon... guess. ok, fine! i've been hibernating my days away. really manz, my sleeping cycle is not totally not within my control, able to sleep 12hrs non-stop? or sometimes just 2hrs and im wide awake, and the following day slept for like 17hrs? then 2 hrs the day after? or maybe im still in the process of evolution, deciding between a robot or a hibernating bear. though i would really prefer the bear =)

things at work have been fine, mostly machines giving us the headaches (or me alone when im on nite shifts). its like they tend to fail tgt, like girls like gg to toilets tgt tat kinda thing. guess its just the time of the yr yar? xmas season and so the machines would like a break too.

oh talking abt taking a break, there's a rumored plant shutdown in late dec till early jan. its so rumored that it actually sounds real, know what i mean? there's even confirmation from insiders tats its gonna be shutdown from 26dec-3jan. however real the whole thing sounds, no official letter from management. then my colleagues are all planning a hol tgt, since the chance of us holidaying tgt during work is totally nil. but today yet again rumor that the shutdown gonna be postponed till next yr. C'MON ST, make up your mind for once! hmm, i think all my leave's gone this yr, not that i have a lot to start with anyway. i think ST is giving the least leave to her employees.

oh, and i have to mention this. AH-HEM... i was praised for being responsible today. haha, though not from someone impt. he's an engr from etch, and i did promise him a reply regarding some funny issue. couldnt find him yest so i sort of explain to his colleague the result of my investigations. today he saw me, and i explained it to him all over again (its really a short ans). he was pretty amazed that i actually got back to him regarding the issue so he concluded i AM a responsible engr. HOHOHO~ nice one! good to know my effort was being appreciated.

YES~ ST u still OWE me a day's salary in oct!!! when can i get it back?!!!!

hairy issue

2004-11-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

having a bad hair day is one thing. having a bad hair day and someone commented on it is another thing. and having a bad hair day and a guy commented on it is yet another thing. for those who know me well, i usually have bad hair days (its just bcoz my hair isnt wat i wanna my hair to be so its really nobody's fault, blah blah blah). and my hair's worse recently due to my working environment. really manz, i HATE my hair after i exit the fab. its totally out of shape, dry and flat. is there a worse hair situation than this?

ok anyway, that particular day my hair was in its usual state but this colleague of mine came by and commented how dry my hair was. and that was when i stepped into the office not too long ago. and that was the time my hair was supposed to be in its 'best' state. ARGH~ and did he comment once? NO! like so many times till i lost count. THANKS MATE, THANKS! and yar he did recommend a solution to my hair, spend some $ and get some proper treatment done. haha, like there's another solution.

this comment kept bugging me for the rest of the week. PLEASE manz, its my hair you are talking abt. so i've booked myself an appt in kimage today. im absolutely bothered when my hair's the issue. so ive decided to go for regular hair treatments from now onwards. thats the benefit of earning a salary rite? to pamper myself and make myself more appealing (to myself and others =P). furthermore i LOVE the feel and look of my hair after a treatment. even if the texture and feel doesnt improve, which i think it will in the long-run, i will still enjoy the pampering treats!

grieving... =(

2004-11-14T01:49:00.000+08:00

yeah, finally got time to do something about my ipod. it just died on me last sunday, on my way home from work early in the morning. it was playing a song happily when it jammed. well, since there is nothing really could do, just thought yar let the battery run out and maybe everything's gonna be fine. who knows, it makes funny noises when i tried to switch it on after i fully charge it today. and an exclamation folder icon error came up everything. maybe software corruption? no idea. tried all the troubleshooting ways available on apple webbie, din help either. looks like i really gonna bring it to see a doc yar? wonder wat time the service center open until. really cant wait till wed when im off-shift to get it fixed. quite depressing and so bothered. bought it about 3.5mths ago and it died for no reason. i've been handling my ipod with total care for your info. SO WATS WRONG WITH IT?

lets get the facts rite, shall we?

2004-11-13T01:12:00.000+08:00

a boss is suppose to protect his employees. a boss is suppose to stand on his employees' side. a boss is suppose to do what is best for his employees. a boss is suppose to trust his employees. THEN WHY IS MY BOSS THE TOTAL OPPOSITE? my boss sharpens his PR skills at our disadvantage. my boss takes in all the shit and expects us to do it. my boss tells other ppl how badly my dept is doing. my boss is making life difficult for all of us working under him.

lets be logical yar? why are you making everyone pleased except us? the shit you are taking over are those that other ppl shun. so who are we to accept it? its not even within our job scope to do it. yes, we are handling the tool, but we are only taking in request from our fab, not the rest. can you imagine us doing all the irrelevant requests when we cant even finish our own work? oh well, u are the BOSS! bet you have absolutely no idea how busy we all are, coz you stay in the office the entire day! bet you cant even handle a tiny request if you go to the fab. what a waste of the co's resources to make your jumpsuit and booties.

ok, if you are not able to help us, STOP telling other ppl how incompetent we are. its decreases our moral for all the work we've done are not appreciated. we are all doing proper work, just that you have no idea. we dont forward you tonnes of emails we get everyday. we dont tell you problems that we can handle internally. we dont add trival problems to your workload, so STOP adding to ours.

guess you are the only incompetent soul around, for hardly anyone respects you. trust me, thats the cold hard fact you have to accept! and to quote "if you are gonna make life difficult for us, we'll make it worse for you".

down on my luck yar?

2004-11-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

think i really need to go n sprinkle myself with some pomelo leaf water. quite a no of unfortunate things happening to me lately.

1) lost my dear notebook in the fab last wed. searched high n low for it, and requested those i know to help me keep a look out for it. in the end my fren found it on some rack. hmm how did it end up there? maybe i should just be thankful that it appeared in the end.

2) tonnes of machine problems that got me running back n forth last wed too. and all the machines had to be used by the etch ppl. sigh, just their luck i suppose. as if i have control over wat went wrong with the stupid machines that cost millions.

3) yest had mild food poisoning. must be the satay n fish porridge i had the day bef. delayed reaction yar? had to call my colleague back to cover my shift while i went home at 1110. and realised that one should not be sick on sundays (hardly any clinic is open) and one who is poor should never fall sick (had to pay a hefty $41! and got a jab on my butt).

4) just when i was feeling better, had to lose my fab booties today. which idiot borrowed my booties during my shift? should know better rite? that some other shifts' booties. too bad cant find the culprit today. wonder when my booties will return. it has been known that it will reappear in abt a month or so. anyway 'the ultimate search for booties' will carry on till i find my them~!!!

oh did i mention i played a very bad game of pool last thu? well, can be my worst ever since i started playing... so WHAT WENT WRONG WITH MY LIFE?

missing u lots

2004-10-30T20:30:00.000+08:00

suddenly there was a surge of emotions. was planning my xmas program when i realise that this might be our last xmas tgt. might, maybe, all the uncertainity puts me in a state of unrest. wat if u decide to work for ur aunt? wat if u really cant find a suitable job in sg? wat if u are forced to go home? wat if i wont see u again? all this tots causes tears to swell. im actually quite dependent on you, im a loner with not many frens. i like to share all my joys, happiness and sadness with you. we seem to enjoy the same type of activities yar? will really miss u lots...

sidenote - im sure those who know me well should know who im talking abt... esp the lead of this log!

education = invisible barrier?

2004-10-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

the world's always been a weird place. people drift apart with more education they receive, inversely proportional, like there's an invisible barrier between them. its quite a sad phenomena, or maybe its just the people i meet. somehow i realised, that i can chat with the operators more easily than with other engineers who seem so distant. yar i know i dont know them well (and some i really dunno), but after having 7 meals tgt, how could they not even smile? somehow we should all find each other familar. yar? even though they require my help sometimes, its just doesnt seem like we've eaten tgt, or seen each other ard bef that kinda feeling. weird yar? no small chats, no smiles, just plain DAO! or izzit me? do i have that kinda dao face? been told i have u know, but time will prove that im not. so it sort of doesnt matter for people will come to know the real me soon. anyway just hoping things will go smoothly. dont care if they treat me as invisible or wat. i wont even wanna eat with them during meal for night shifts anymore. not like they'll ask me though. ok watever. i do enjoy all the small chats with the operators, it just make work less boring. =)

today's fridae the 13th?

2004-10-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

someone commented that i've not blogged for a long time... yes coz im on night shift yar? meaning im tired both physically n mentally yar? meaning i should spend watever free time i have resting n relaxing yar? finally done with 2 wks of night shift. was actually quite not used to it. the office is super quiet, lacking in activity, and cold too. the fab seems so much emptier. nothing major happened though i can feel my workload increasing due to increased production. should be gd news though, hoping there'll be extra bonus? haha very unlikely. ive been eating with the other engineers, along with my buddy engineer. gosh, its actually quite a torture. yes, maybe im being impatient and with time we all should warm up to each other. during 'lunch' (i'll like to call it lunch though not quite appropriate), they'll talk abt other engineers whom i dunno. so yes, just keep quiet n finish my food and listen to watever gossip. nothing juicy though. no idea if they'll ask me for 'lunch' in future, since my buddy engineer has gone back to normal shift. its sad eating alone yar? late at night... sigh... LONELY!

lets see, there's this VERY irritating guy from CVD whom has been handing me problems at 0630! does he know i, too, knock off at 0700?! apparently not yar? stupid! the first time i had to OT and miss my transport back home. ok, once is forgivable. well who knows? the next day the same thing happened at 0630. GOSH, almost wanna strangled him can. he too takes the transport, so why he has to delay it till the last minute bef requesting my help? to think i have to work with such an idiot from now on.

finally lasted till the end of my night shift, but my biological clock is totally reversed now. so it sort of explains why im blogging late at night. anyway today went out with junidar for some pool... YEAH! tats something i totally enjoyed playing. and i cant believe how unlucky i was today (ah-hem yesterday actually... haha). first it rained when i was leaving my house. then both of us tried to new KFC tom yam, damn GROSS! wonder who told me was nice... bad taste! ok, then we proceed to marina square for our game of pool. to our surprise the place is under major renovation. we walked almost an entire circumference of marina square bef we can find an entrance! wonder how the business has been going manz, even the entrance is so isolated. anyway, was so glad to be finally in the building and our search for SUPERBOWL starts. walk n walk n walk n walk n walk, nowhere in sight. we had a vague impression its on level 3 so we still continue looking for it. not to mention this weird guy who i think took an interest in junidar... haha. ok, dead tired already. then decided to use the directory. its CLOSED for renovation till 22/13. dont ask me wat the date is, coz tats really wats written. we should really have used the directory bef our search manz. wasted like 30mins searching. ARGH! bad meal, no pool! anyway we still wanna play pool so we took a taxi to parklane. phew we are physically n mentally tired by the time we got there. but pool revived us! haha played for over 3hrs.

well, the day's damn unlucky if u ask me. though i really did enjoyed my game of pool very much. we should really play pool more often yar? think its time for bed though im hardly sleepy. had to begin my day shift on sunday so have to tune back to normal yar? wonder if im ageing exceptionally fast... u tell me!

extremely HAPPY and SAD

2004-10-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

how could 2 such conflicting feelings be happening at the same time? shouldnt one be sad or happy, and not sad and happy? but at least it sort of balances up my day, for it isnt too good to be sad n gloomy the entire day.

im sad coz of a little quarrel with mommy yest. its really getting on my nerves to repeat the same things again and again. and no, im not being rude on purpose. it doesnt help to have a busy n tiring day at work and come home without peace n quiet. doesnt she understand at all?! watever, its not the first time its happening.

im happy coz he came and talk to me. its abt work, of course! but still, he manages to put a little sunshine back into my life. i guess i wont be seeing much of him anymore, maybe not anymore. we are both in different shifts, for i start work he goes home and vice versa, totally opposite. i wont even get to see him even when he comes back for OT. guess from now onwards i can fully concentrate on watever im doing in the fab. but also one less person who will say hi to me in the fab (hee, he always do!). wonder who's gonna put sunshine into my life...

im certified... YAY!

2004-10-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

im finally certified. no longer needing supervision. freedom! FREEDOM! my beam calibration is finally to my snr engr's standard. hahaz, its time anyway.

my snr engr's a tough babe, for everyone in the fab is scared of her. thank goodness she's nice to her own dept staff. oh, how did i end up with this subject. there's this fierce operator auntie in the fab. super attitude! sighz, she wont even admit her mistake tat could result her in management action. she even pissed my most-good-tempered colleague off. watever! to think she'll get caught by my snr engr. super suay! then her attitude changed 180 deg. super frenly n humble now. hopefully our work will be more smooth with her in future. actually she's not to blame for her actions, for as instructed by her engr. she's just a lowly operator who i think wont dare to do such outrageous action. then again, her attitude SUCKS!

think i can rest well tonite, for i know, IM CERTIFIED! =)

lazy bum

2004-10-04T18:41:00.000+08:00

well tats me, for someone who havent updated her blog for the past half a month. of course there are SEVERAL reasons:

a) being tired. ok lets admit it, who isnt tired from a whole day of work, not to mention having OT slotted in between. the routine: home-work-home-dreamland and it gets repeated for every single weekdays.

b) lack of social life. if my life is just made up of work n home, then can someone remind me of the reason to blog every so often?

work has been fine recently, with the significant decrease in the amt of production, it seems to me tat im SO free everyday. it may not be a good thing to slack so often, as one tends to get lazy and it becomes a habit. not a good thing if in the near future im gonna be working alone during the nite.

most of my frens in my co are busy with their own stuff too. some had gone on shifts and i may not see them ever again. yes i do miss the training days, it was memorable. some of us went for for lunch last sat. sad to say its only those ppl who i see so often. those MIA are still MIA.

im going on shift next wk, starting from 10 oct on night shift. actually i like night shift bcoz the tot of being uncontrolled is quite appealing, esp on sunday when there's hardly any soul ard. just hope tat i'll be ageing well. dont be shock to see me looking like a 50yr old lady. *winks*

bored wkend...

2004-09-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

i din do much this wkend. stayed home, rest n relax, watching the world go by (with my comp). managed to get my hands on this controversial taiwanese movie, formula 17 aka 17歲的天空. its a romantic comedy about gays. nothing gruesome, nothing r-rated, just cute boys with good figures *drooling*. some parts of the movie touched my heart. sort of changed my perception abt cute gays. some still send shivers down my spine... hahaz

the actors are newbies i suppose, having heard of them only recently. the first is DUNCAN, a hong kong-er who ventured into tw. he's super-duper good in wind-surfing, having won a gold in some asian wind-surfing competition. tat explains his good bod. his father is a coach, and his elder cousin has gotten a gold in olympics bef!!! just when i tot good-looks and talents dont go tgt... hmm...

the second is 楊佑寧. dunno much abt him though, thinks he's a model bef. also tall and boyish looking. he acted quite well for a newbie, looking doot when required. hahaz... cute boy!

sidenote - just in case any of u are mistaken, my colleagues are a bunch of funny ppl. those mentioned are just tat gets on my nerves. majority are lovable and im having a lot of fun hanging out with them =)

my new operators

2004-09-07T20:34:00.000+08:00

today met them, all 4 of them from china. bet they were v intimidated by us sitting there in a row in the meeting room waiting for them. but wellz, we were all smiles so that shouldnt be tat bad. they seem nice, quiet. hopefully they stay tat way. cnat stand some ppl who just seems to have attitude problems. all of us are in-charge of training them in various machines. haha, in my entire 22yrs, i've never taught anyone anything. hmm... maybe tats y im not a teacher/tutor. lets hope everything turns out fine and my chinese dont fail me.

some process frens just dont understand y all of us are so happy that we have new operators coming in. elo, this is the pioneer batch of operators! its a milestone for my dept. of course we are happy! haha or maybe more like lazy since they'll take away quite a major part of our daily qualification job.

in abt 3 more wks im expected to go into shifts. how exciting *note the sacarsm*. wonder if i'll be able to swim by myself or just drown in the first day... but so far things are going quite smoothly. so the previous mth depression was sort of solved by my salary. =)

im sorry

2004-08-29T17:57:00.000+08:00

im sorry for being prejudiced against u
im sorry for being critical of u
im sorry for all my evil stares n attitude
IM SORRY!

im not gonna say this to u, coz its weird. and i dun think u know wats going thru my mind. but im definitely gonna treat u much better from this day onwards. though we hardly click, but well, things are gonna improve. we do have a common target rite? haha, this is also damn weird coz u dun have my bloggie page. now i truly do understand wat u have been going thru for the past few wks. the stress, the misunderstandings, the sacarsms... maybe this is really wat office politics is about. we'll just have to relax and let go, no matter how hard.

im sorry... and am hoping this blog will save my soul.

bad day at work

2004-08-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

wat more can i say?! im even contemplating of QUITTING my job!
=(

ganna scolded...

2004-08-25T22:25:00.000+08:00

NOT ME! its one of my colleagues pissing my snr engr off this afternoon. this task were being taught to us right from the beginning yet to this date, she wasnt able to perform it smoothly. i'll be pissed off if i were my snr engr. ok, she's tapping on everyone's patience really. "STOP testing my patience" were the exact words screamed out by my snr engr. i was shocked! why was i ard there loitering? coz i've finished my tasks for the day and was just waiting for time to pass. i dont dare to hang ard tat danger zone after tat and went to look for my khakis. never really seen my snr engr exploding the way she did, but how can i blame her? we all used to complain behind this colleague's back (yes, not a v nice thing but is the only way to release any stored unhappiness).

besides my snr engr being pissed off today, my other colleague was too pissed by her. wat a great achievement! we arent allowed to bring mobiles into the fab, and so the only way we can be contacted is by the so-called tech-phone. its really a mobile, but with different frequencies tat wont affect all the machines. by holding on to the tech-phone, u are liable to all the phone calls tat require our attn. SHE, just simply doesnt wanna hold onto the tech-phone. just in one morning, she simply left the phone with my colleague SILENTLY and left! TWICE! elo, cant she just ask if he is free to hold onto the mobile? i think tats pretty rude.

today went quite smoothly until the last minute when we went up to the office to collect our bags. my snr engr called up, asking which one of us advance held a lot. we arent suppose to hold a lot throughout the night, as tat will hinder the production. none of my khakis did as this particular pdt wasnt under our care. apparently there's only one suspect. maybe she din notice the email by previous shift, or she conveniently forgot. and my senior (he joined 2mths earlier) had out it v subtly tat we shouldnt just leave this to the person in charge only and should take note on our side too. ELO, ARE WE TAT FREE?! we've got our own job to take care too u noe?! sigh... this had somewat spoilt my day. i felt like i was being blamed for not keeping a lookout. but if someone's not doing her job, why should i clear up after her?

ok, this blog of mine is somewat more n more being used to vent my anger and unhappiness. and also, if anyone noticed i've not been mentioning names in this blog, coz not like anyone know who im talking abt anywayz. but its also im feeling guilty abt the way ive treated her. ive not been nice n frenly, just basic courtesy. i've hardly joked with her or have short chats and stuff. wonder if she did notice, and feel we are isolating her. we din do tat on purpose though, just tat we dont click v well. so i just hope tat by not stating in black n white who i've been complaining abt will put my heart more at ease. =)

a student mentality

2004-08-22T14:34:00.000+08:00

how should i put it? yes, ive been working for slightly over a mth now but im still having the 'student mentality'. my snr engr is like a teacher, whom i'll always feel tense n self-conscious ard her. not to mention the no of mistakes i made the previous wk. i was just so afraid she'll scream at me. but well, it din happen. was i relieved? OF COURSE! but yes, i should be more careful in my work from now onwards. no mistakes are intentional. hopefully im more able to click with her in the near future.

due to the no of mistakes i made, some of my inability (too complicated to mention), and the mundane nature of the job, im beginning to feel that this isnt the right job for me. doing the same old things over n over everyday, the time spent waiting as i see my life ticking by, is definitely not interesting. but as mommy always say, all jobs are mundane. maybe i wont stay in this co tat long (was intending to stay for 2-3yrs) if things dont improve. not to mention ppl there are quite unfrenly. maybe its just the mth-end depression. when i see my paycheck, things might be different then. saw some of my frens who just entered the co, and really wishing them all the best. hopefully by being in a different dept will their lives be much more happier there.

the most innocent ppl u'll meet in ur life is probably those who were in sch with you. for those already working in society, things often dont turn out the way u want. so... face it, change it, solve it, accept it.

PS: y do hamsters harbor such vengence when they have such tiny brains?

ants on a hot pan

2004-08-08T10:34:00.000+08:00

this blog was suppose to be publish yest, but then i was 'busy' with smthing and failed to do so. the essence of this entire blog comes from the fact tat my snr engr doesnt come to work at 0830. she comes in approx 0930 or 1000, and leaves later then 1800, which most of us do.

sat morning, only 4 newbies were in. phone calls kept coming in, requesting us to go down to fix the problems. AS IF! and the other ppl suppose to be reporting in today is my snr engr. about 4 calls, with 2 regarding IMMEDIATE attn. so the 3 of us were getting v uneasy, with fear of scolding tat we heard so much about. sidetrack a bit, why only 3 of us? coz the sylvia, TAT sylvia was oblivious to the things happening ard and was still doing her own work. ok back to the main topic. we went to seek my manager to see if he has solns. apparently he's quite new too and din have the tel nos of my snr engr. so in fact my snr engr is THE ONE in charge if u know wat i mean. got the mobile no from the secretary and bombarded with abt 5 'missed calls'. her mobile was on silent and she din realize. finally she called back and told us to meet her in the fab. gosh, arent we relieved. upon seeing her, she's still so relax, w/o a sense of urgency which we all had. hmm... anywayz, i was told to optimize a recipe by myself which made me sort of broke out in cold sweat. things got a little messed up but was soon back on track. then the other 2 were told to do the same. GOSH, why must i be the first one, i dont even have time to refresh my memory?! went home later @ 1300.

This is my social status from a quiz.
Changeling - Witty, amusing and a bit weird, you're welcomed into most social groups, even though you don'y 'fit in' perfectly.

stooopppiiidddd

2004-08-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

GOSH, so many stupid things happened since the last time i blogged.

1. the blog i just typed din manage to get publish and therefore GONE. STUPID!
2. a new female colleague sylvia came onboard on wed. when she found out she's doing shift, everyone can see her displeasure at such an arrangement. from wat we know, she was asked whether she can do shifts during her interview and she agreed. so wats her prob now? din have a good impression of her. its like she's cheating on the co so to secure a job. she's thinking of all ways and means to get out of the shift work, such as requesting to go overseas for training. haha, thank goodness it wasnt approved as we are being pressured to go on shifts asap. STUPID!
3. sylvia's so xiaojie xiaojie, very slow in picking up things, and couldnt tuck her hair properly into the hair cover. her hair still sticks all over her face after the hair cover went on, almost wanted to ask her the use of a hair cover. dresses so slow in the fab, took more than 5mins after im done. beginning to think she has a maid who dresses her every morning. couldnt undo a stuck zip too. STUPID!
4. dunno who complained to my sup abt the gathering at the office every morning. apparently we were too loud. we werent scolded but my sup said we all 'talk too much'. not like we were gathering during office hrs, its a everyday bef work gathering where we can talk to all our frens and interact. bet its a woman... so BITCHY! so today no one dare to gather and its a quiet day. misses the fun already. first time tasted the office politics, disgusting. STUPID!
5. today had new assignment to compare and edit some recipes, and so was staring at the comp screen for ages. its a new program and all of us copied all the instructions given by my sup. all the fonts are so small and the names are all so long and complicated. i was feeling so uncertain and was in the midst of figuring things out when i have sylvia asking me to go over to her desk approx every 5mins and solve her probs! elo, like i dont have probs myself? and from wat i see, she din get most of the instructions. its not like im not helpful u noe, but calling me so often is REALLY getting on my nerves. STUPID!

im just praying real hard that my shift wont be back to back with sylvia's. i can foresee myself doing the work tat sylvia cant finish during her shift as she works so slow. maybe im being so critical of her due to bad first impression. hope my impression of her will change with time.

im damn shagged today

2004-08-02T20:56:00.000+08:00

will some kind soul please give my a shoulder massage + foot relaxology? cant remember when i've been standing for so many hrs at one go... maybe i havent bef tats wat! lets see, get all ur fingers ready and we'll start counting. i've been standing from about slightly past 9 till 12.45. went for lunch, maybe was too hungry to feel my feet aching. then from 2-6.30. so its a blardy 8hrs and 15mins!!!! so apparently, i've been in the fab the entire day. now im aching from top to toe. and YES OT today! not tat im excited or wat. not sure if im gonna get paid but its still PLAIN TORTURE! think tmr will be same as today. im not complaining much, just tat out of the 8hrs 15mins today, much of it was wasted standing ard doing nothing. DUH~! yuan fang was busy in the morning and din really go into details abt the machines. shirley came by in the afternoon, gave a slightly more detailed explanation abt opti-probe but tats all! cdsem had some major prob tat shirley n yuan fang spent abt an hr or so trying to fix it. so there's alan, huixiang and me taking up space in the fab. ppl come ppl go, we 3 are still there. proper training starting on wed/thu, when the last new gal come into the dept. yes, our dept is full and not hiring anymore. at 6.00 shirley wanna bring us ard the fab for a tour. then got stuck to opti-probe when there's a prob with one of the recipe. out of the blue, shirley tested us... PHEW we managed to solve tat little qn afterall. so the entire tour ended at 6.30pm. not like i can remember where the machines are now. guess i'll just have to find my way ard.

the thing is, my hair is so damn gross when i exit the fab. its so dry and having to wear the smog entirely flattens my already flat hair. its like so hard and curls all over the place. wat the...! still brainstorming abt the different ways to solve my hair prob. any suggestions? maybe i should cut it real short? im already not pretty, so i really want my hair to be in better condition. IS TAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! sigh, looks like im gonna have bad hair days for the rest of my days in STM. GRRR~

yawns

2004-07-31T17:18:00.000+08:00

YAWN! tats the quite most frequent action for the 1st 3 days at the dept. not tat we din have anything to do, just that the stuff we were told to read were just damn boring. operation manuals... how interesting. not as if reading such stuff would make us proficient in using the machines. wellz, our dept is just too small and too busy. some vendors will be coming in next wk to teach us proper. its quite amazing how our dept survive so long. we've got 7 ppl in the dept, not counting the manager (i think tats his position). and out of 7, 4 are less than one mth old. hmm...

dunno since when, the small cubicle which houses approx. 6ppl became a meeting place for lunch, tea breaks etc. more senior staff are usually not ard in the office, having to go to the fab v often. then it just leaves all the newbies (1 and 2 wk old). our place is v convenient, since its near the exits. but so near tat almost everyone who walks by will look in, so it doesnt reflect well on us. wellz... if there's proper work to be done, im sure we wont be chatting so often.

sidenote - im in metrology

inspirations

2004-07-25T20:28:00.000+08:00

saying someone is fat doesnt make u skinner
saying someone is ugly doesnt make u prettier
saying someone is stupid doesnt make u smarter

so waste of time and energy talking behind someone else's back.

when u cant change something, learn to live with it. you'll be happier tat way.

=)

23rd July 2004

2004-07-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

not much thots abt today. just another boring training day. 2 unexpected events happened today. firstly, i had a cuppa free iced milk tea. the impt thing is not the 'free' but the action behind =). secondly, now i have 2 bleeding hammies at home. i was the indirect cause of their injuries. SAD! i had to change out their litter and just had to put them tgt in a box. somehow, while waiting for the box to dry, i still left them in the box. with no sound, i thot they had finally forgiven each other and able to live in peace. HOW WRONG! when i finally held them (one by one) in my hands, i saw their fur wet with blood!!! i panic, who wont? i scared they die due to excessive loss of blood, scared tat the one bitten at the neck became mute (maybe that explains the silence). hopefully they both are able to eat with their wounds, obvious ones at the mouths. i have no idea what had caused the grudge between them. the female hammy was the only one injury-free. think she's damn happy having 2 males fighting over her.

just hope tat tmr morning i wake up both hammies are still alive and eating. i wont want to deal with hard, cold hammies. tats too much for me! and TRUST ME, i wont put them tgt again as long as i live!

imagination time...

2004-07-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

quite a no of times, i got people telling me i think too much. good or bad or just over-active imagination? its quite hard to control the mind, for it drifts past time boundaries, all realistic constraints. u can be wat u want, u can make things happen the way u like.

say for instance today. one tiny, meaningless action led my imagination running wild again. i really hope reality matches my thots. but how often tat happens?

object - test paper
action - marking

when i was handed back the test paper, i was so glad of 3 ppl, he marked mine. say its coincidence but still with imagination, it just make my boring day much better. *thump thump thump*

the clash of the century

2004-07-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

i've started work for 5 days, just mere 5 days and i got myself into 2 very unfortunate incidents which im not proud of. the 2nd day of work i've tripped and fell at the stairs. KAPOOM! very embarrassing since 2 of my new frens happened to be walking in front. ok, this incident was just witnessed by 2. today, unfortunate 21 jul 04, the sole of my right shoe came off. dont come asking me why. this pair wasnt some old sneaker u find in cupboards. worn it just 3 times or so. maybe i kept it for a couple of mths but must it fail me like this?! very embarrassing. and this time, the entire group knows about it. how nice. had to walk barefooted (as in w/o my shoes, i still had my socks on thank god) downstairs and to the guardhouse to collect my IC. maybe the only fortunate thing tat happened today was i wore my rather long pair of jeans, so walking barefooted wasnt so barefooted until some big-mouth making fun of me.

big-mouth alan: "isnt it cold walking on the floor?"

talk abt being sympathetic to my plight. these 2 incidents seem to happen at the worst time possible and in front of a person whom i want to keep my image *winks*

also last friday, i lost my driving license at STM too! i clearly remembered i collect it after returning my temporary pass at the guard house. and vaguely remembering putting it back into my wallet. somehow it wasnt there on monday morning and have not appeared since. gotta go n make a new one soon, like i have a choice in this matter.

up till today i've not received my pass. talk abt efficiency. 2 of my colleagues got theirs on the very first day they took their photos at the guardhouse. well, just 2 out of 12, so i hardly think im being ostracized by STM.

just hope that things will get better. =)

sidenote - one incident was a repeat. guess!

im not adaptable!

2004-07-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

today's the last day of FIT (fab improvement team). well tat's not the end of training as it was only a 2-day course. besides knowing my training group, we've also combined with the previous wk group. they are sure a noisy bunch. apparently within the 1-wk they've been tgt they had gotten to the pt like 20-yr-old frens. its amazing considering that im quite anti-social and hard to warm up to strangers. i really have to admit to this hard fact afterall and not push the responsibility to others. its ME ME ME!

from my group theres polly, huixiang, bryan, bala, michael, alan, yen yin, luo bing, chen zhen, wang hui, angeline

the previous wk group whom i've talked to there are lionel, stephanie, david

i should really make an effort to talk to ppl whom im unfamilar with or go down to borders and get a book entitled 'an idiot's guide to interpersonal relationships'. but this is just so in-borne in me that i cant seem to change. ok maybe its my horoscope (oops another excuse). i really wish to make new frens whom i can have a nice chat to bef/during/aft work. though we all arent in the same fab but its just good to know more ppl izzit it? someone just teach me the skills! i only have 8 more days bef everyone gets posted to their respective posts.

sidenote- wonder if i can find out who is gonna be in wat shift.

1st day @ STM

2004-07-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

BORING! there's 14 of us, a lot more than i've expected. apparently STM get this many newbies every wk. wonder how they got the space to pack everyone. in short, wat i did today was sit in the training room and listen to one after another talk. its orientation. there're speakers from the training dept, HR, payroll, security, MIS, TQM. when u are saturated with facts and stuff, really nothing gets in after tat. early in the morning we were handed this real thick booklet of 591pgs of notes. just a couple of pgs in front mentioning today's schedule and the map of STM, others is like lecture notes!!! elo, why is this happening to me?! thot ive already graduated?! watever, like i can do anything to change anything.

the only more interesting part of today was to meet ppl. the first person i talked to is called vincent, vince as he preferred to be called. from nus, eng dept, knows someone from my class. tat someone is apparently working in STM too! the world is not too big afterall. from this 14 ppl, or 13 excluding me, there are ppl from indonesia (1), malaysia (1), china (3) and myanmar (1). 2 from china are actually a couple. the wife got an interview first and recommended her husband. so in the end both of them got the job. i would have hired them since they are both masters. another masters grad is sprean indian. he is the MOST talkative guy around. he sat opposite me during lunch and he talked non-stop. its amazing how he managed to eat faster than me yet talked 100 times more than me. i can hear his voice from tea breaks too! hmm, are there so many things to talk abt? then y does it seem im lacking in conversational topics with the rest? oh, the myanmar guy, he looks like william hung. well, to be fair, he looks better than william, yet still fair from being called 'cute'. he's a frenly chap too. the gals are quieter on the whole and slower to warming up to each other. the guys were already chatting like old frens.

the day finally ended, with a little mystery too. here's how the story goes. i've gotten my lunch and drink and was queueing to pay for them. the cashier upon collecting my cash put a slice of papaya on my tray. so the qn is, am i paying for tat papaya? i din take it! some ppl had fruits on their trays but they most prob are paying for them. wat abt me?! was tat included in my meal? gosh how do i find out? those at my table are like as blur as me. anyway i was too full to finish tat papaya after lunch so i left it till after work. hardly any vit c but at least there's teh fibers.

sydney 2004

2004-07-14T19:33:00.000+08:00

finally im back! not that i did not enjoy my trip but it could have been better, much better. maybe bcoz it was too rush a trip. honestly, this is my SHORTEST trip ever (not counting those going to malaysia). planning to put a photo to this post, but yar as usual, the lazy bug got to me and i havent uploaded my photos.

day 1 - T1, changi airport, QF5, 2000

day 2 - arrive in sydney airport 0515. brr, freezing cold at a temperature of 18deg. took the airport transfer and arrived at Avillion hotel at 0700. room was not ready and told to come back few hrs later. there's really nothing to do in the wee hrs in the morning except to visit the fish market. decided to walk all the way there, about 20mins walk. stopped for a cuppa coffee in gloria jeans on the way as all of us were practically walking ice pops. the fishy stench welcomed us to the fish market, yet as we proceed further, the smell sort of diminished. walked ard and was totally amazed at the sizes of fish caught. the fish were HUGE. the swordfish got a bigger waistline than me. imagine tat! had a dozen of oysters there. SUPER FRESH SUPER TASTY. could eat a dozen more if not worried abt high blood pressure, hap b and stuff. not too good to eat uncooked stuff on an empty stomach. couldnt resist the temptation and bought a dozen more oysters and a kilo of tiger prawns back to hotel. room not ready when we got back at 1030 so we slept on the couches in the lobby till 1330. evening was spent in market city, a shopping center with factory outlets and downstairs is the wkend paddy's market. went over to star city, sydney's casino, for dinner. lost a couple of bucks at the jackpots.

day 3 - its BLUE MOUNTAINS day! A$97/pp, inclusive of lunch and morning tea. the bus was scheduled to pick us up at the hotel at 0750, yet it interrupted our bfast at 0725. apparently there was miscommunication. gobbled up the bfast and luckily din puke on the bus. had billy-tea in nature reserve, learnt to throw a boomarang. haha, tat is FUN. so i bought one back home. still thinking of places where i can throw it, w/o breaking any windows. its a supposedly guaranteed returning boomarang. upon reaching the blue mountains, the scenery is awesome, if u havent been to the grand canyon. its a like a small scale grand canyon. it was a cloudy/misty day so the sights were unusual. sydney's been having dry spells for months and only when we arrive did it start to drizzle. OH did i mention whenever there is a small drizzle, look up and there's DEFINITELY a rainbow! its amazing as seeing a rainbow in sg is like waiting for diamonds to form from a pile of charcoal. ok, out of pt here. we had to walk 200 over steps down just to view a natural waterfall. its really nothing like the niagara falls. walking 200 over steps down means we have to walk 200 over steps UP to the bus. boy was it tiring! a train ride was included in this trip. its the steepest railway in the world. im not good at geometry but the angle is almost 70deg i suppose. the day tour ended with a cruise back to darling harbor/circular quay. conclusion of the day - visit USA!

day 4 - legs were aching from the climbing of the stairs. no time for rest and its a day at circular quay where the famous sydney opera house and harbor bridge are located. its a sunday so there's also a wkend market at The Rocks. interested handicrafts and LOTS of ppl. there's also a one-day coffee carnival there, so we were lucky to be there. took lots of pictures of the opera house and harbor bridge. wasnt very enjoyable as it was raining, and with my legs aching, its really not the best time to be there.

day 5 - shopping day! finally... that is my whole purpose of going to sydney. went to birkenhead factory outlet, the biggest in sydney. shopped for 5hrs non-stop! was able to grab a few things as daddy wasnt ard. daddy had a little sprain in his leg the day bef so he cant be walking ard much. also daddy doesnt like shopping so usually we dont really shop for long as he gets real bored. went to star city again (this is like the 3rd time already), hoping to get to the garden buffet. the previous 2 nites, the queue for the buffet was so long that u'll think its for free. ha guess wat? there was absolutely no queue at all. yar its a monday so tat explains it.

day 6 - home sweet home. rushed to fish market once more for oysters. 1315 back at hotel for the airport transfer. 1545, QF6. back in sg 2145.

gosh my fingers are getting numb from so much typing! going to give them a good crack, tahda~

class of 2004

2004-07-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

YUU-HOO, finally its commencement day. the ceremony went smoothly, meaning i din fall on stage. it was just a mere 10s of fame, trust me i've counted. the day din exactly start perfectly, so i was a bit worried. first, i cut the 2nd left finger. wat, when, how i dunno, but saw the cut there. second, i forgot to bring hairpins when we left, so daddy had to drive back for me to get it. third, forgot about safety pins TOTALLY. fourth, hmm... theres no fourth but 3 unfavorable things din make my day.

the usual things happened. sat in the auditorium, waited for the dean's speech. then the ceremony started. one by one walked up the steps, shoke the dean's hand, took the scroll box and left the stage. the scroll was collected on the way back to the seat. so all the dean handed me was an empty scroll box. to think i was worrying tat i might have been accidentally handed someone else's scroll. hmm...

well everyone was excited when the dean finally announced 'the ceremony closed' (along tat line, i've got short-term memory). balloons drifted from the celling. nice sight, din get a shot as intended. then ppl started bursting balloons... hmm... maybe there's no champagne to be popped. then i was quite excited after tat, coz of all the photo-taking. i love taking photos, with me inside or not. when im old, im gonna look at those photos and i believe a smile will crawl onto my face unknowingly. this is the best part. though i wont say my uni life has been perfect, but it will definitely bring back fond memories.

though there are many happy faces around today, i still wished that some of my frens were around to share the joy. i do not have many close frens in uni, and so many of them din turn up today. too bad they wont be in the photos this time round. i know my fren is real sad that she couldnt make it, and all the fun she's having also not quite making up for the loss. afterall its once in a lifetime.

anyway i wish all my frens all the best in their future endeavors from now on. and hopefully we'll still keep in touch forever and ever.

CHEERS!

new hairdo new beginning

2004-07-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

WOW! commencement is next wed, 7 jul. i'll be in that graduating gown seen so often on tv and other ppl's hses. but im sure i'll look silly in that gown n mortar. just hoping that the mortar will fall off when i have to do a bow on stage (i have to bow rite?). and also i'll not trip n fall when walking up to the President to receive my scroll. i always have halucinations when walking down a flight of stairs. i can literally 'see' myself trip and fall face-down. in reality that had not happen bef so i really have no idea where that halucination came from. and if it really happen, it'll be infront of EVERYONE! the President, the deans, the camera crew, all my friends and of course my parents. not to mention my stage-fright. be it the lightings, the no of eyes on me, im just not able to calm myself down. i'll get sweaty palms (gosh, i'll have to shake the President's hand), and break out in cold sweat, shiver non-stop and stutter. i dont think i'll ever feel so nervous after this ordeal. but why do i feel so nervous? no idea, if i really know then its perhaps not called STAGE-FRIGHT.

the thot that im no longer a student still scares me. its amazing how i've managed to slack 3 years in uni, time sure passes by in a flash. i feel im suddenly propelled into adulthood, facing all the stress and expectations of more ppl in the workplace. but hey, i've gotta grow up rite? just really praying n hoping that my colleagues-to-be are the nicest ppl on this planet. this is the next chapter of my life. a brand new chapter where i can start almost afresh, where ppl dunno me, where i get to know more ppl, where my previous results dont matter anymore.

im actually quite looking forward to commencement. im sure im gonna enjoy myself tat day, taking lots of photos wilth my classmates. its sure gonna be rowdy after the ceremony. =)

sidenote - my company had a minor explosion yest. a bad omen?

a found soul...

2004-06-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

ah-hem, listen up!
i've an announcement to make.
IM NOW AN OFFICIAL EMPLOYEE OF ST MICROELECTRONICS!

counting my lucky stars...

2004-06-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

i dunno, maybe its just me. the more u dont wanna a thing to happen, it'll happen. the more u wanna to buy something, anything tat passes ur eye is not appealing. yes, life dont always go your way blah blah blah, but must it ALWAYS go against me? ok fine, im always not contented with my life. who is anyway? really, just tell me whoever is contented with his/her life and i can guarantee none!

though im not contented, tat also doesnt mean im unhappy with it. i may be unhappy/uncertain initially when things get out of control, but usually it happens for the better. i must say, a lot of things tat happen to me, is like having GOD looking after me specially. sometimes i feel so blessed, like all good things happen to me w/o much effort from my part. im not christian or anything but i believe in destiny. or is tat just sheer luck? things just seems to fall in place, in good places i must say, and everything just works out even better than i've expected.

i really have no idea wat im trying to say in this article. but i really have to thank whoever out there tat is looking after me... THANK YOU!

heartattack (almost!)

2004-06-20T17:46:00.000+08:00

literally, i was like a dead dog yest. i really wanna blog at once when i got home, i swear, but was really too tired to do much except take a shower, had a bite and off to dreamland. A LOT happened yest, quite amazing! havent had such a busy sat afternoon for as long as i can remember.

first thing first. i got up real early for my interview. GUESS WAT? i totally forgot to take my resume with me. i printed the resume out and yes, din put into the folder straight away so tat explains it. reached orchard bef realizing it, thank goodness i realized it bef i got to the company. anyway was in a panic for a short period of time. looked at the time, 8:10am. flagged a cab and headed for home. told the driver to wait while i go up and grab my resume. sigh, wat a good start for the day. reached the company 15mins bef appointed time. RELIEVED! anyway when i entered the auditorium, there were like already 20+ ppl there! wonder wat time they all got there. was handed a set of papers and told to find a seat and fill up the forms. OH, and there was this quiz, supposedly to take only 10mins but wellz everyone entered at diff times so they couldnt really control tat. the technical quiz was... HARD! think gong hao din do a good job, all the stuff they asked werent even taught in his class. or maybe its just me being ignorant or not paying attn. i havent even seen some of the diagrams they drew and i was told to label them. AS IF i knew! tralala... entered the hack-care stage and did wat i could. and there was also this psychological test. quite dumb, and i had to tally up some nos, and i counted like 3-4 times and couldnt tally! wat the... anyway finally i got it. aft the color-blindness test was ushered upstairs to the HR office to wait for my interview. gosh, waited for quite some time. some ppl din even have to wait as long as i did. tick tock tick tock, finally my turn. haha it turns out tat the interviewers know my sup dr tsang from ime. well, how small the semiconductor industry. apparently he quit this company and went to ime. now i have to wait and see i'll get a 2nd interview. oh, for this position there's shift work. tat makes it not so appealing.

i headed down to fortune center around bencoolen tat area for this talk abt working in US. its internship for up to 18 mths. sounds quite cool, i mean working in the US, hows tat?! in a foreign country, experience life like the locals, and working! was even dreaming of getting a permanent job there as well. but wellz, dreams will remain as dreams as reality will always go against your wish. it turns out tat the company will send u to US if u can fork out a sum and pay for your own working visa, and ITS NOT CHEAP. felt cheated! and the pay i'll be getting is ard USG1200. how on earth am i going to survive on tat manz? not to mention rent, food and transportation, i believe instead of earning money i'll be spending instead. so after 1.5yrs i'll still have no savings. yar yar yar, the experience of working in the US and how good it'll look on my resume. i dont think im taking tat up, couldnt afford and dont think its worth tat much. i can still go the US on holiday!

aft tat talk for about an hr, headed to selegie rd for my jc fren's open hse. tim has just opened his very own yoga school. CONGRATS! so it turns out tat his mom is one of the teachers there, and a very good yoga guru! i've seen her on tv for interviews about yoga and stuff. i just din know she's tim's mom! the place though not big but very cosy and relaxing. attended a little session on the introduction of yoga, and some meditation. the place wasnt packed but also quite a crowd. din have a chance to say bye to tim as he was busy explaining the class sessions to someone. good to see tim after so long. not like we were close frens or anything back in jc but its good to know he has succeeded wat he wanted and all the best to him!

all the anxiety, disappointment, and happiness experienced during the day drained all my energy. not to mention walking under the scorching sun. so tat why i slept for 12 whole hrs bef waking up, fully energized, today!

im seeing rainbow now

2004-06-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

HAHA im totally estatic! my life has suddenly transformed from pitch-dark to rainbow in just a phone call's time. any guesses anyone? well, im just to dying to tell everyone so i wont wait for any ans. I HAVE JUST GOT MY FIRST INTERVIEW!!! hows tat?! *grinz* i know its not like i've gotten my first job offer or wat, but its a good start isnt it? im so glad i returned that missed call, coz usually i really dont, esp from an unknown no. i was 90% expecting the call to be from some stupid insurance/financial planning companies. god knows how many of such calls i have received and rejected their 'nice' offers. but anyway this guy keith seems nice enough, over the phone tat is. gave me all the necessary instructions to get to the company. i even asked to see if there are other interview slots available since it clashes with my part time, but well not everything in life goes ur way. keith said he might be able arrange another time-slot but cant guarantee anything as they might find their man in the first round. so i sort of have to make a choice between the two. but wats a part time compared to a chance for full time employment? NOTHING! so yar, have to break the news to dr tmr, since i was requested to go in full-day.

im actually quite worried about everything there is to worry. wat if ive forgotten all my technical facts? wat if i dont interact enough with other interviwees and they term me as austic? wat if i lose my way to the company? wat if i dont get the job? im such an interview-newbie. i have absolutely no idea wat they'll ask and wat test they'll put me thru. just tat thot is bad enuff. well, as most ppl know their first interview always sucks. so im not really putting much hope in this baby, as i know how disappointing i'll definitely feel if they reject me. ive had my share of rejection and it feels damn bad. u feel like this tiny worthless trash tat the world can just do without. ok anyway shall not dampen my joyful day with such unappealing thots.

WISH ME LUCK!!! *heart thumping real fast*

sidenote - to those who sent in resumes too, my this application was sent on 1st june.

crossroad of my life - clueless

2004-06-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

im again having to decide the direction i want my life to go. i know i've already grad for 1.5mths and has sent out many, and believe me, many resumes online. not tat i expect all to give me replies, yet i wasnt expecting none. wonder how long more i must wait for my first formal interview. will all i've learnt in uni be forgetten, if i've actually learnt smthing? i've given myself many backup plans, just in case if plan A doesnt work out i'll have plan B, plan C, plan D, etc...

a) rsaf - takes a blardy long time for individual screens, so far took 2 apitudes test and one interview
b) take up a masters or bachelors in australia - seems to be the least expensice overseas uni tat parents can afford and a nice place to migrate
c) go to US for professional placement - why not? if i really like it there might get PR or smthing
d) start a business - wats the pt of working for someone when i can work for myself?
e) continue with my online-resume-sending business - so far (not) so good

someone told me my first job is very impt as it will determine my starting salary, and future salaries, and the industry that most prob end up as my career. presently im still looking for a job not a career. but i was also told tat unigrads are also picky. surely im not picky rite? most ppl wont want to travel too far to work (like how big in spore rite?!), and the pay must be reasonable (within their range, not the employer's range). ok, maybe the salary wise it cant be too low since i've still got loans to clear, but my expectation is also average. as for location, though i've secretly harbored the thought of looking for companies in the west only, i've expanded to searching for companies ALL OVER spore.

im giving myself till year-end to finally decide wat i wanna do with my life. hopefully then rsaf can give me an actual reply as to whether im in or not. actually the reply should come soon since i've taken the 2nd apitude test, the determining test. i really want to enter rsaf even though tat means i have to take the BMT. still, it seems to be the most challenging career. i want everything but an ordinary life.

wish me luck~ =)

sidenote - the above is not in order, except rsaf being the foremost choice

the day hammy got blind

2004-06-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

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it happened yesterday since i din notice tat bef. was going to give them their daily feed when i realised the fierce hammy couldnt open one eye. on close inspection gave me a real shock, yes, he's got a serious eye injury and i suppose his eyesight wont recover. poor thing, i mean yes he's always been the naughty one but that 'punishment' for him is just too much izzit it? now im totally lost. should i bring him to a vet so tat he wont get any infection or should i just leave him like tat since the vet most prob cant do much about the eye? he's been very quiet since yest, must be the pain and not used to seeing with one eye. think the other 2 hammies also realized their mistake and they are not coming near at all. im thinking of giving them back to meeling in aug.

this incident brought me back to my principle all along, i shall never keep any pets! the hammies were sort of unexpected, and in a way im taking care of them on behalf of meeling. i love animals but i wont want to keep them. im just so scared i'll die of heartache when they become sick or worse, die. i know i get attached to them very easily and always let my feelings get the better of me. so i refuse to give the hammies proper names wishing tat my attachment to them remains in control. now im really thinking of handing them back to meeling, coz im sure i'll go berserk when i wake up one morning seeing one cold, dead hammy.

i shall give the vet a call tmr morning. i wont want hammy to die of infection since its already suffering from a half-bitten ear and now an eye injury.

bimbo receptionist...

2004-06-10T23:34:00.001+08:00

0900 woke up, took a shower, had breakfast
0930 received call from mommy, somehow the HR called her instead of me, had to report for work in the afternoon, lynn is pregnant and having real bad morning sickness
1030 received call from HR, clinic needed me urgently, had to get there asap
1115 reached clinic, rushed like mad, totally empty with no patients
1120 learnt to input new stocks tat arrived in the morning, quite a headache as no one (dr or the perm part time) really knows the comp system well enough
1230 left the clinic early with dr's permission for some personal matter
1245 back to clinic, last patient before lunch came already, slacked till lunchtime
1330 went to lunch late, some admin matters to settle
1400 gobbled down my lunch like i havent eaten in centuries, might get indigestion, dr came back at 1420
1435 this english patient came with her sister-in-law and her niece, never seen a cuter and more inquisitive baby, having so much fun just looking at her play with the toys
1545 patients stop coming in, called drug company to order some hormone injections tat cost $67.50 per dose
1600 started looking at my nails, combing my hair
1615 attended 2 last patients
1645 dr attending to some sales rep, i had really nothing else to do, felt quite bimboic sitting behind the desk doing nothing
1715 realised no one is really coming since the clinic closes at 1700 (i thot it closes at 1730)
1735 finished doing all the closing procedures for the first time, was in a little trouble with the printer but its really the cable's fault not mine

sidenote for those who have no idea wat im talking abt here, im temping as a recep in a clinic on sats only, they'll contact me if they needed someone on wkdays. this is the first wkday im working in the clinic.

raindrops keep falling on my head...

2004-06-09T14:38:00.000+08:00

blame the weather! im feeling like a eighty-year old lady today. no, im not suffering the effects of rheumatism. its just feeling all slack, not wanting to do anything and not feeling a passion for life. this is BAD, considering im only a supposedly vibrant 22-yr-'young' who has yet to fully experience what life has to offer. too bad i've yet to go and watch 'the day after tmr', or else i could let my imagination run thinking ice age is approaching. its so dark now, i could barely see the next block of flats from my window. all blur~

i simply have a love for disaster movies. ok, i know the plots are all so predictable, if not mankind would not have existed today. ok a list of disaster movies tat i can remember for now: volcano (by tommy lee jones), deep impact (just ever so touching), earthquake (there's such a movie rite? cant really remember), twister (woolala, helen hunt's debut... nice!), deep blue sea and lake placid (of course they can be considered as disasters, if not the world will be ruled by sharks or crocs now *brrr*), armageddon (kaboom!) and also another volcano movie about mt st helen (someone update me on the title please). its so intriguing to see the forces of nature at work, and singapore is so peaceful sometimes it hurts. i dont mind to be placed in such a circumstances, provided i live to tell the tale...

*cough cough* oops, tats my lung!

frenster

2004-06-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

ok, i know i know its been around for a very long time, yet it never failed to bring back memories whenever i found a long-lost fren there. today was browsing through the list thanks to mike who 'interrogate' me why i have yet to add him to my list. the thing is tat i din get his invite so i cant really be blamed for it. there i came upon a jc fren (nigel) msg which i din reply (i did added him on the spot, so does tat make up for it?). he was a very quiet guy back in jc, so quiet until sometimes he is quite non-existant. im not noisy too, but should not be to tat extent of invisibility. reading his msg again starts me pondering how's his life now in australia and how much he changed over the years. all of us din expect him to take off to australia but well, not like we all noe him tat well. so receiving his invite came as quite a shock. then from his list, i saw another fren, also a jc classmate lulu. i havent thot about her for a long time. not like i've forgotten about her, though i still think i'll recognize her on the street if she's ever back in sg. she's one gal tat brought laughter to my jc sch days, comforted me and encouraged me. cannot be considered a close fren but she's a good fren. she din take her 'a' levels and left in the middle of yr2 for usa. from the photos, she din change much, still as fair, tall, slim and pretty. wonder if her hongkong accent (she's from hongkong) changed much.

maybe its me, the passive girl that never changed, i hardly take the initiative to call/email/write to ppl. i really do like to keep in touch with all those frens, but a dark thot will linger on in my mind. i just dun want to inconvenience ppl to take my calls when they are busy and might feel bad abt not having time to catch up with me. and im also scared they dun remember who i am. haha do i think too much or wat? well, then someone could be the taking initiative and ASK ME OUT. if im free i'll definitely go. i think thats the biggest prob with me, and it leads to me having frens in different periods of my life. i dont think i'll have the same frens fro 20-yrs, 30-yrs. sad to think, since mom has like frens dated back 20-or-so-yrs and they religious met up every yr for lunch (2nd day of cny). quite envious of such frenships.

back to frenster, its quite a good idea since i found a couple of frens whom i have lost contact. yes, as usual i din add them to my list (unless they initiated), but its good to know they are living so well so happie. good to see their photos and how they've changed over the years. dunno why some ppl (cheryl tats u im talking abt) think its a bad idea. would gladly add u to my list. now recalling back all the memories from jc days, all the laughter and unhappiness. everything's changed now, but memories will stay... forever

my younger days...

2004-06-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

today was again channel-surfing and came upon my all-time fave cartoon ever. not x-men, not smurfs (though i like tat lots too!), not powerpuff girls, its CAREBEARS!!!! haha, tat just brings back the fondest memories ever. today there's tenderhearts bear (heart on tummy) and good-luck bear (clover leaf on tummy). sadly i caught like the last 5mins of the show, as usual with the good endings n stuff. but still... i was very happie. they are so cuddly, so furry, so chubby (like me!) and simply too cute for words (tats me too!). im putting a reminder in my mobile so i can catch tat next wk, thur 11am!

come to think of it, how did i spend my time in my younger days? well, i know recently ive been online very often, watching vcds, listening to cds and stuff, but tats usually wat u do at my age isnt it? so wat are the things i did back in the good old days? i dont play with barbie dolls, neither do i like to color. im bad at drawing, and just as bad now. i dont play masak masak like my cousin who simply cant get her hands off all the plastic utensils, stove, veggies etc. i dont have any remote control cars, or toy cars in any sense. maybe i do watch a little bit of cartoons, though not much i can guarantee. haha, seems like i do have a boring childhood rite? yeah maybe i watch too many tv programs to do anything else besides homework. wat programs i watch? i have absolutely NO IDEA now. maybe anything on tv is just good to pass time away. oh before i forget i do read books like enid blyton, and this series of books which i have forgotten the author (thanks mom for giving my memories away). oh yar, and also sleep. who doesnt like to nap anyway? and one expensive hobby i had was collection of fluffy soft toys. i just have LOTS. its all in the cupboard now but i do remember taking them out and take photos of them. just felt like the most fortunate gal in the midst of all those cute soft toys. hmm... seems like my hobbies tat lasted till now is only reading. elo, reading doesnt include textbooks so tat explains my grades.

sidenote - wonder if ppl are able to read it since its on my blog yet not published (understand?). this is like my first ever blog for ppl to read yet they cant see?!

food fair 2004

2004-06-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

well... this year's awaited food fair (more of my parents than me) was again at expo. that place is so damn far from my house. might go there more often if its nearer. anyway daddy drove, so it sort of made things better. was just expecting the food fair, but how wrong was i? there's the metro fair, the branded apparel fair (so tempting, but too far), and tmr's the IT products fair. hmm, if i was there earlier might have gone to the metro and branded apparel fair to see if there are any bargains that i can grab. being on a shopping mode doesnt help my finances at all manz... HELP!

the usual crowd at the food fair... FOOD FOOD FOOD. wat can i expect anyway? people are usually blind with cheap food around, singaporeans esp. kept bumping into me and i felt like a pinball. quite a no were aunties and uncles though young people like me do make up abt 40%? somewhere there... always not good at estimates. the first thing i tried was curry chicken. boy oh boy, is it just me or my luck? a drip of curry landed in the middle of my t-shirt. from then on i was just looking out for people with stains... well i found NONE! watever... after an hr or so i sort of got used to it. later on found another speck of stain on my left sleeve. tats NOT done by me. who would stain her own sleeve?! now, i think im more in a paintball game rather than a food fair.

this time, instead of instant coffee/tea (2002) and ice fish (2003), our bargain this time round is JJ canned drink (hawthorne). first it was sold at 40c per can, then before i can finish my can its selling at 20c. WAT THE... nvm, to make my for my 'loss', we sort of bought around 30cans of hawthorne tea. its nice, sort of sweet sour refreshing taste. after 10mins or so, almost every flavor is sold out. couldnt get the camomile tea which i bought at 20c (wanna try the taste to see if i liked it). its nice, somewat taste like chrysentamine (watever!) tea.

feeling v tired now. make it was the crowd and shouting everywhere at the food fair. never liked crowds or noisy places... drains my energy.